Showing posts with label grandparents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grandparents. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Big Fish Book Review

Big Fish by Daniel Wallace
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I love getting books sometimes that you end up reading in one sitting. It can be so satisfying to read a book from beginning to end and get the whole sense of it at once. I decided to read Big Fish after watching the movie recently. Because I'm not a fan of Tim Burton (sorry!), I never bothered with the movie. Then someone brought it home and I've watched it like five times since! I love that movie!


Big Fish the Book
Big Fish the Movie

For one thing it was filmed in my home town, Montgomery, Alabama. My daughter attended college at the campus where they filmed (not Auburn!) which is also in Montgomery. The book and movie is about facing our own mortality. The fictional son records his father's "fish tales" and interspersed throughout the book are the final moments of a son with his amazing but definitely flawed father. By the end of the book, the son seems to come to terms with his dad.

"I looked at this old man, my old man with his old white feet in this clear-running stream, these moments among the very last in his life, and I thought of him suddenly, and simply, as a boy, a child, a youth, with his whole life ahead of him, much as mine was ahead of me. I'd never done that before. And these images--the now and then of my father--converged, and at that moment he turned into a weird creature, wild, concurrently young and old, dying and newborn.

"My father became a myth."


What do you think?  Is this Tim Burton's Best Movie or do you prefer another, and if so, why?

Monday, August 27, 2012

The Greatest Gifts to Give a Grandchild


These are excellent excerpts from Creative Homemaking for Happy Living, Relief Society Homemaking Booklet, published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Salt Lake City, Utah, 1984.  Barbara Winder was the General Relief Society President and her counselors were Jay Evans and Joanne Doxey.  This article was written by Elma S. Bradshaw.

  • Get down on the floor and talk to them face to face at that eye level (it helps to see things from that point of view).
  • Make it a habit to attend the events in which the grandchild participates, such as: swimming, baseball, football, cheer, gymnastics...
  • Let your grandchild practice a speech or instrumental number before you prior to the big performance.
  • Grandchildren love to show you how far they can jump, how fast they can read, or how high they can climb--be interested!
  • Listen--really listen--with your ears, eyes, and heart to a teen grandchild who has a problem.

Give the Gift of Self-Worth

They like to feel important and to have evidence that what has been done or said is of value:

  1. Display drawings on the refrigerator door or kitchen wall.
  2. Compliment them in the presence of others.
  3. Hire them to wash your car and then lavish with praise for their efforts.
  4. Provide opportunities to succeed in a variety of tasks and activities.
  5. Write your grandchild a letter on their birthday and list all the special qualities they have for which you admire.
  6. Share useful skills such as sewing and building, cooking, etc.

Give the Gift of Heritage

Everyone wants to know who they are and who they belong to.  Grandparents are children's bridges to the past:

  1. Write letters (or prepare a taped message if they live in a distant city).  Tell them what you did as a child when you were their age.
  2. Write your life story.  Give copies to your married children with instructions to share your story with their children.
  3. Share your old photo album with a grandchild--tell about the people in the pictures and encourage him/her to start keeping a picture album.
  4. Help your young teen-aged grandchildren to prepare their Books of Remembrance.  Be sure you are also preparing yours so that you can be an example to them.
  5. Take them with you to do research--help them to find themselves and their parents on familysearch.org--the church personal history website (or www.ancestry.com).
  6. Write the histories of your own mother and father (their great-grandparents); then hold a Family Home Evening with your married children, at which time you can read the history you have compiled.
  7. Take your grandchildren with you to decorate the graves of their relatives and ancestors.  A short meeting at the gravesite can be used to explain the relationship of each person buried there.

Give the Gift of Teaching

Most grandparents have a little more discretionary time than the parents of their grandchildren, so:

  1. Teach a child to tell time.
  2. Teach a child to tie his shoe.
  3. Teach a child to count his money and figure up the tithing owed the Lord.
  4. Teach a child to spell new words.
  5. Teach a child to pound nails into a block of wood.
  6. Teach a child to plant a garden.
  7. Teach a child how to cook his favorite food.
  8. Teach a child a new art or craft.
  9. Teach a teenage grandchild how to shop wisely in the supermarket.  Compare brands, prices, quality, and sizes.
  10. Teach a child a new song.
  11. Teach a child to recite a poem, a nursery rhyme, or to repeat a special story.
  12. Teach a child that Heavenly Father loves him.

Give the Gift of Creativity

Creativity begins with the stimulation of the brain at a very early age in children.  Giving even a small baby a variety of interesting things to look at, listen to, touch, feel, and manipulate helps him to store many different images and ideas in his mind which he can draw on in later life.  It's worth the time, mess and expense to have creative memories with grandchildren.

  1. Many creative experiences cost little or nothing.  Many art museums are free to the public.  Look for activity books in the local library and choose activities that use many of the items found in a kitchen.
  2. Discuss how things look, feel, sound, and smell by stressing details and differences in color, shape, texture, and size, and by giving simple explanations of how things work.  Encourage discovery and curiosity.  Children need lots of different experiences to expand creative potential.

More Good Grandparenting Tips

Here are few more not found in this article from Creative Homemaking for Happy Living:

  • Let children's ideas be expressed in a non-threatening atmosphere.
  • Help children to accept change and be flexible.
  • Help children learn that some problems have no easy answers.  Be willing to say, "I don't know."
  • Teach children how to solve problems and look for more than one solution--to brain storm ideas.
  • Reward children for being creative, however, they must learn that good work is sometimes its own reward.
  • Help children find joy through their creative efforts and problem solving--It is fun!
  • Allow children to be "an original."  This makes them authentic.  It's okay to have your own style, ideas, opinions.  We are more interesting when we are allowed to be unique.
  • Appreciate children who stick with a project when everyone else has moved on.  Find ways to encourage this behavior and identify it in the student's work.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

A Time to Die

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven:  A time to be born, and a time to die (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2).

This topic may sound morbid but I really became interested after my beloved grandma passed away at age 93.  Grandma was ready to die.  She mentioned it many times.  She had a large family and was always there for her children and grandchildren.  Though of modest means, Grandma was rich with unconditional love and caring.  My children, her great-grandchildren, also loved her deeply.  But Grandma was one of the last survivors of her people and her generation.  It can be lonely to be the last.

After Grandma fell the first time, she was never the "same" grandma.  I think we all knew it would be the beginning of the end.  She insisted that she live in her home--in case anyone needed a place to stay, and she cooked and cleaned, entertained, attended church, continued to travel to relatives homes and live as normally as possible.  However a couple of years before she died, she had an episode like a mild stroke that seemed to change her personality.  Whenever I was around her she was very much the same and recognized me, but I knew that some of her behaviors were not right.

Grandma talked to me about her loved ones now gone, and how she was the last of her very large family.  Even some of her twelve children had died and a few of the grandchildren.  It seemed like life had become more of a struggle than she could bear.  This was sad for me because I couldn't imagine a time without Grandma.  Even now as I write this, I want to reach out and hug her small, bent and fraile figure once more.

I knew that it was Grandma's time to die and I wish I could have done more to help her through it.  I was sad for my aunts and uncles who seemed to not deal well with her slow demise.  They almost seemed to resent Grandma for leaving them--I think we all depended on her more than we knew.

However, I think I can accept the death of an elderly loved one more than the death of someone in the prime of life.  That's what I fear the most.  What I learned from this experience is to get my affairs in order in a clear and concise manner.  I need to let my loved ones know what I want so that they can help me die with dignity and peace whenever that time comes.  I recommend reading  It's OK to Die, by Monica and Kris Murphy for anyone who needs help preparing for the eventuality of death.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Country Girl


I love to read my Grandma's personal history, especially about her childhood.  She comes from real pioneer stock because her family built their own homestead and farm from nothing but former wilderness.  Plus they were the only "Mormons" for miles around.  Though I only knew her as a "city girl," it was like reading a "Little House" novel as I read my grandma's memoirs of her childhood.  I wanted to share Vyvyan Roberta Dyal Jordan's memories of a "Country Girl."

It was 1920, and I was 4 years old.  "Papa," (Dahlonega Washington Dyal), was able to buy 100 acres of farmland through the Federal Land Bank in the community of Semirah Springs (Alabama). ...The price of the land was $12.00 per acre with 30 years to pay off.  The land was located about six miles south of Uriah and 8 miles north of McCullough in Escambia County. ...

Even me at age four had to help in the construction of the house.  There were huge hickory trees within a few feet of where the house would be built.  Under these trees, Papa set up work benches for the family to work on different projects.  Big heart pines had been sawed into 3-foot sections.  From these sections the boys rived boards six inches wide called shingles.  My dad had the trees sawed into 12-inch boards for the house walls and 4-inch boards for lathes to cover the cracks in the walls.  I believe the floor boards were cut at 10-inches in width.  Sometimes the neighbors would come and help us.  It was wonderful and exciting to see the big house growing.  When the house was completely finished, there was a huge wide porch and also a back porch with shelves for water buckets and wash basins.  We had a well dug and it had the best water anywhere.

We had three large bedrooms, two of them with fireplaces.  A small, narrow, "extra" bedroom, a dining room, a kitchen and a long dog trot hall from the front porch to the back porch.  Before the well was dug, we had to carry our clothes to a clear spring about a block away.  My Grandpa and Grandma Baggett and family lived up the hill from us, just past the spring.

My dad...planted white and red grapevines on the fences.  He planted a peach orchard at the top of the hill.  Behind the house he had a pear and satsuma orchard and several varieties of plum.  He grew the best watermelons in town.  He planted sugarcane, potatoes and other vegetables and even a rice patch.

Papa had machinery like a hay rake, a mowing machine, a stalk cutter, a planter, and a fertilizer distributor, plus a two-horse wagon and mules to pull the wagon and to plow the fields. ...He built a huge barn with stalls on two sides for the mules and cows.  Elevated by thick timbers so a wagon could go underneath, there was a ladder up to the barn door.  At harvest time it was filled with hay.  There was also a corn crib.  ...After the calves were allowed their share of milk, they were let out to the woods and the cows were milked.  Then the calves were penned up and the cows were let out to graze.

A small closet on the back porch served as refrigeration for the milk.  The milk was strained through clean cloths and poured into pans and put on shelves to allow the cream to rise to the top.  We drank sweet milk as needed.  When we needed to make butter or buttermilk, we put milk in a big earthenware churn, covered it with a cloth and set it to the side of the hearth to keep warm until it clabbered.  Then we put a wooden dasher in it and churned it up and down until the cream turned to butter and the milk turned to a delicious, rich, thick buttermilk.  A bowl of buttermilk and a piece of fresh cornbread was as good as anything else I wanted to eat.  We used to say, "give me cornbread, buttermilk and those good old greasy greens."

Farm life was hard but I never minded the field work too much.  Papa was a good man and a good farmer.  There was always plenty to eat as he always planted big gardens and we always worked hard in the summer months to can thousands of jars of tomatoes, peas, beans, etc.  Papa built a fruit house with four-inch thick timbers in the backyard.  He lined the wall with shelves for all the canned stuff so it would stay cool. ...Sometimes we could get our county agent to bring the county canner, sealer and cans to can a whole cow.

It seemed like when the winter cold weather came it stayed.  So in January we usually butchered 10-14 fattened pigs.  We had a smoke house where we hung long sausages, hams and bacon to cure.  We cut up the fat and cooked in big washpots until it became delicious brown cracklins to eat with sweet potatoes or make cracklin bread.  The grease in the pots became snow white lard.

I always begged to stay home from school on hog killing day so I could turn the sausage mill.  It had a sleeve on the side so the thin intestines could be slid on and filled with the ground meat.  It was fun to go down to the fjord (spring) to help Grandma and Aunt Jane Allen, or whoever came to help clean the chitterlings to make skins for the sausage.  We made a slow burning hickory smoke-fire in a scooped out place in the dirt of the smokehouse floor to smoke the meat for several days.  We would coil some of the sausage in 50-pound lard cans and pour the new lard over them.  As we used the sausage from the can, we also used the lard to make biscuits so the biscuits tasted like sausage biscuits.  They were wonderful on cold mornings with thick, homemade sugarcane syrup.

Papa always planted a big cane patch.  He would save some of the stalks for seed.  He dug an oblong trench in the ground, cut some stalks in sections, placed them in the trench and covered them with about 6 inches of soil to stay there until the spring planting.  When they were unearthed, there were little shoots coming out of the stalks.

Papa would always let us take turns going to the one syrup-making mill in the community located at Mr. Till Cardwell's place.  We would mingle with the neighbor kids and drink all the cane juice we wanted, (though I didn't really like it that much).  The fire never went out under the huge cooking pans.  The mill would crush the stalks into juice, and the tongue was pulled by a mule who walked in a circle all day.  The juice ran into a series of large vats or pans.  As the juice moved further down into the vats, with many hours of cooking down, it became delicious syrup.  These were placed in gallon cans.  Mr. Cardwell was given a share of the syrup for use of his mill.

Papa always tried to have a ripe watermelon by my birthday, June 23rd.  To me heaven without watermelon would be disappointing.  Usually by the 4th of July, the crop was "laid by" till cotton picking time and we had time to play, read, go fishing or swimming in Little River a mile down the hill from our house.  We would pick washtubs of huge blackberries near the river to be canned for jams, jellies, and delicious fruit punches, or in the winter, for pies.

When the cotton picking time came in August, Papa and every child who could drag a cotton sack, went to the fields.  We kids raced to see if we could pick as  many pounds per day as Papa, but we never could.  He usually picked over 200 pounds.  I think the most I ever picked was 150 pounds.  We had a cotton house in the middle of the field where we emptied our sacks after "weighing up."  Papa would always let us rest on the porch on the cotton house, or lie on the grass around it.  We cut many watermelons on that porch, sometimes with the aid of a thumbnail and a tough piece of grass when we didn't have knife on hand.  There was a big gully or wash down the hill from the back forty with a clear, cold spring.  The boys took turns toting the jugs of water from the spring for the cotton pickers.  

Mama never had to work a day in the field as long as my dad lived.  She was very beautiful to me.  Her lovely brown hair hung nearly to her knees.  I loved to watch her brush it in the mornings and then swirl it around and coil it on the back of her head.  She knew exactly where to place the big tortoise hairpins.  Although she married at age 15, she was a very good housekeeper and seamstress.  She would sing a little ditty as she sewed.  It went something like, "With a twist and a twirl, this is for the girl, with the golden curl..."

We children would go out early in the  morning and gather all the vegetables for Mama to cook for our dinner and supper.  The boys would draw the water from the well and fill the two big black wash pots in the back yard and three big washtubs that sat on the long wash-bench under the shade tree.  Mama did the wash with the rub board, lye soap and Gold Dust washing powder.  After washing the clothes on the rub board, the clothes were boiled in the wash pots, then rinsed and hung on the long clotheslines.  A battling block near the wash pots (3 feet tall, made of hickory) and a flat battling stick were used to paddle all the stains out of the boy's overalls when they were lifted from the pot to the block.  Smoothing irons were heated by the fireplace or on top of the wood stove, or in the summer they were heated in a slow fire under the shade of the big hickory where clothes were ironed outside.

Papa always had a big potato house dug out 10 x 15 feet.  It was in the garden area complete with shingled roof. It had a thick layer of pine straw in the bottom.  When we dug the potatoes, they were sorted by size.  Papa dug another smaller pit and put the stringy potatoes in it and covered them with corn stalks and dirt until spring time. Then he took the small potatoes and put them in a seed bed until they sprouted, and then we planted the new crop.  Each year was a round of planting, cultivating and harvesting over and over again.  There was so much work but it was a great lesson in the value of work and its rewards and how the seasons operate.


Sunday, July 17, 2011

Flip Over Old Fashioned Games


The instructions for two games we played in my Children's Pioneer Day Event post are given below.  I also included more old-fashioned games and their instructions.  Of course these are games the neighborhood friends and I played as kids and I am not that old--so they have really stood the test of time.  I remember teaching them to my children and anyone else's kids that just happened to be around.

Duck, Duck, Goose Everyone sits in a big circle, with one person standing on the outside of the circle.  That person (the standing person) on the outside walks around the circle touching each person on the head, saying "Duck, duck, duck, etc."
When they decide to, the standing person touches someone's head and says "GOOSE!"  Then the person who has been "goosed" (the sitting person) jumps up and chases the other person around the circle before they get back to the "goosed" position and sits down in the circle.
If the sitting person catches the standing person, the standing person has to go again.  But if the standing person reaches the empty spot in the circle, the sitting person becomes the standing person.
This goes until everyone is tired of playing.

Button-Button, Who's Got the Button? Everyone sits in a circle, with one person standing.  That person puts a button between his/her hands (like they were praying) and you are basically trying to pass the button from the

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Pioneer Children

by Sandy Halvorson
Sometimes when I must walk to school, it seems a long, long way.
I get to feeling tired and would like to stop and play.
But then I think of pioneers who walked by sun and star;
And suddenly my little walk doesn’t seem so far.
Sometimes on cold, dark winter nights I crawl beneath the sheet
And wish I had a cozy place to warm my chilly feet.
But then I think of pioneers who camped outside all night
And only had a fire’s glow to give them warmth and light.
Sometimes when I am hungry and want something good to eat,
My mother gives me carrots when I’d rather have a sweet.
But then I think of pioneers who thanked God and were glad
For anything at all to eat—my carrots aren’t so bad.
Sometimes when I have chores to do and I would rather play,
I think of pioneers and know they worked most all the day.
And so I guess I can’t complain about things that I must do,
For when I think of pioneers, I’m very blessed—aren’t you?
http://lds.org/friend/1983/07/i-think-of-pioneers?lang=eng

Here is a real story of just one of the thousands of pioneer children who migrated west in the late 1840s and early 1850s.  This is a good one to tell children at a Primary pioneer activity, or a pioneer-themed family home evening.  It would be fun if a dad or granddad could dress up for the part and tell the story as if  he were Albert reminiscing when he was one of the pioneer children.

"Children Pioneers," by Fay McCracken, Friend, July 1995

Sunday, April 3, 2011

They Shall Call You Blessed

Nothing on earth can make up for the loss of one who has loved you. ~Selma Lagerlog


My grandma was a great lady!  No matter what others did, Grandma always held fast to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and to her church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I was very lucky to grow up in Grandma’s neighborhood.  Grandma always made sure we grandkids had a ride to church.  I loved rides in her big car, and she always took the most scenic route to church.  Regularly, Grandma would take us to McDonald’s for an ice cream cone.

After Aunt Wynette died, we often went home a different route from church, stopping off at the cemetery for Grandma to tend Wynette’s grave.  When my sister and I started taking piano lessons, we took them with Grandma’s piano teacher.  Grandma was retired, but she made sure that she never stopped learning and doing.  She always had a garden of some sort, and she was quite proud of her azaleas. 
Grandma always had cookies in a jar on the kitchen table, and ice cream in the icebox whenever we came to visit.  There was always candy in a jar on her coffee table.  When I think of Grandma, I will always think of the eggshell blue walls of her living and dining room.  I will never forget the hours my sister and I would dress up in Grandma’s prized costume jewelry she kept organized in egg crates in a dressing table drawer.
Grandma never forgot our birthdays and when Grandpa died, she made sure his tradition of a silver dollar each birthday, and later when the silver dollars were gone, a paper dollar was sent by her.  Through the years, during Sacrament meetings, though I might have been far from Grandma, I would feel her near as the congregation would sing songs that I could still hear her sing.  I knew exactly how she would sound if she were sitting next to me, and I would start to cry and I would miss her.
Grandma gave me some of her old Relief Society manuals that I cherish and read often because she must have served as a Relief Society teacher and she had planned out her lessons in the book.  Grandmother loved church.  Her home was filled with many things she learned from church such as family history.  She served as a faithful visiting teacher and fed the missionaries regularly.  She helped with mission funds of family members.  She was obedient to the prophet and many a Saturday when I came by, she would have her scriptures out on her large dining room table and be studying for the next day’s Sunday School lesson. 
Grandma is always the example I use when I have friends at church whose husband or children are not active.  I always say that Grandma did everything possible so that when she was finally able, she received her endowments and attended the temple as often as she could, though she was quite elderly by then.  She never let others’ behavior keep her from living the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.
Grandma never sold her large house--she wanted everyone to have a place to go for the holidays.  She truly cared for her family.  She always had her camera ready to take a picture and capture that moment.  I have plenty of these photographic mementos in my albums.  Her hall was littered with a time capsule of photographs and genealogy.
A year before she died, I spent the night with Grandma.  She had not been eating.  I made her a breakfast of things that she could swallow easily.  I got ready to wash up the dishes while she ate but she didn’t start to eat.  I asked her what was wrong.  She said she wanted me to sit down and eat with her, so I prepared a plate and sat with her.  She bowed her head and blessed the food.  Then she ate everything on her plate as we talked quietly.  I was humbled.  How often do we treat the elderly as children and not give them the dignity and respect that they deserve as our elders.  She did not want to be waited on, she wanted to visit.  Grandma taught me how to help the elderly as I visit teach or assist them, or check on them, or help them through the funerals of their spouses.
It has been a privilege to know my Grandma; perhaps that’s why I chose in the preexistence to be born into her family.  I don’t know what went on before my 42 years on this earth, but as long as I have known Grandma, though flawed she may have been, she lived her life beyond reproach.  I often try to emulate her and I know she has been accepted into God’s presence.  When I knew she was gone, I took out a book she wrote of her personal history. I wanted to look at pictures of her.  Of all the pictures in there, the one that looks most like I remember her was of her on her 81st birthday in her beautiful home.  She is wearing a lovely all-white dress.  Yes, I thought, with tears streaming down my face, Grandma is with her God, she is with my God. God bless you Grandma.
A house needs a grandma in it. ~Louisa May Alcott

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Pantry Camp Stew


This week is my daughter's spring break, so I'm paying her to do all of my weekly chores while I concentrate on some personal projects.  She made Camp Stew tonight that is just like what my Grandma would always have cooking in a slow cooker to accompany all the other great food served at family gatherings.  Pantry camp stew makes a great food storage recipe because all of the ingredients below are easy to store.  I specified my preference for canned chicken and barbecue, but use your favorite brands or use fresh ingredients or a combination--whatever you have on hand will work!  Yankee Corn Sticks go great with this recipe.  

Pantry Camp Stew (Print)
1 med. onion, chopped (or dehydrated onion)
1 stalk of celery, diced
4 small russet potatoes (or 2, 15-oz. cans sliced potatoes, drained)
2 (14.5-oz.) cans diced tomatoes
1 (15-oz.) can cream-style corn
1-2 cups chopped, cooked chicken (or 1, 12.5-oz. can Hormel chicken breast in water)
1 (10-oz.) can Vietti Pork in BBQ sauce, (optional)
2 T. Worcestershire sauce
1 t. pepper
1-2 t. hot pepper sauce
lima beans, mostly drained
Stir all ingredients together in a Dutch oven; bring to a boil.  Reduce heat, partially cover, and simmer 20-30 minutes, stirring often.  Add the lima beans about 15 minutes before serving.  Or place all of the ingredients in a slow cooker.

Here are some tips that might be helpful when making Camp Stew:


If you cut the ends off the onion first and discard, your eyes won't tear up while chopping!


When adding the chopped celery, I noticed that the remaining celery had gone limp.  Before returning the celery to the vegetable drawer in the fridge, I when ahead and prepped the last of the stalks and put them in a baggie with a tablespoon of cold water.  The celery will magically firm up again!


This recipe uses a lot of cans.  Here is a wonderful new tool I discovered recently!  The can opener takes the whole lid off so there are no sharp edges and it is pretty easy to do.  Just read the instructions on the back of the packaging.  I found mine at Walmart for less than $10.00.

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